Awkward Gully and questionable town mottos

8 Aug

I recently drove over Awkward Gully, then Purgatory Creek. A while later came Skeleton Creek. The names made me laugh (what can I say, there wasn’t much else around to keep me amused). Once upon a time, they must have been called those for a reason. But why? For the former, I’d like to think that it wasn’t the gully itself that was awkward, but that it was named after an embarrassing event that occurred there. “Let’s sit down, Astrid, I have something to tell you. I… I love you. Passionately. I want you to deflower you right here in this gully.” “Well actually, Arthur, I asked you here today to let you know that I’m your biological mother. Good day.”

Tidy Towns: Another amazing tourism drawcard.

While I’m on the topic of ‘Things I Saw While Driving Between Tamworth and Byron Bay’, I would like to say to the tourism committees of small towns everywhere: Look, we know you have a tough job coming up with a motto that encapsulates what you’re about while also attracting tourists. But really, WHAT THE HELL? To wit:

“Find yourself in… Uralla”

So I get that they’re alluding to the spiritual sense of “finding yourself”. But as this is emblazoned across a sign not so far out of this small town, it comes across as more of a geographical help than anything. “Keep going along this road and you’ll find yourself in… Uralla”.  Was it a statement of fact… or a warning?

“First town of the North Coast: Grafton”

Well, it’s technically correct, I suppose, so full marks for geographical relevance. The excitement factor, however, is nil. Minus nil, if possible.

“Byron Bay Arts & Industrial Estate – a uniquely Byron experience”

As my passenger at the time mentioned: “Yes, sheds are a uniquely Byron experience”. Well put, passenger, well put.

“Worth a visit: Mayfield”

Okay, this wasn’t on my trip, but damn if it doesn’t make me smile every time I see it. WHY is it worth a visit? Well, it’s really not, as any Novocastrian will tell you; there is literally NOTHING of interest there (apart from a fish and chip shop oh-so-humorously called ‘Happy Hookers’, and you can only find that interesting for a VERY brief period of time).

The encouragement award goes to the Guyra caravan park, by the way – a sign proudly proclaims that it’s the caravan park at the highest altitude in Australia. I guess in the crowded tourism park market, you’ve gotta do what you’ve gotta do to get those travellers in…

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4 Responses to “Awkward Gully and questionable town mottos”

  1. Richard Thomas August 8, 2011 at 8:32 am #

    At Singleton there is a sign at the the edge of town that says “Australia’s Oldest Inland City – Discovered 1820”.

    I’m always bemused at the term “discovered”, rather than the more prosaic “founded”, or “settled”. It makes me imagine a group of hardy chaps hacking their way through the scrub that would ultimately become the Putty Road, arriving at a clearing to find the town sprung fully formed from the dividing range, patiently awaiting their arrival. Perhaps it had been abandoned by some great former civilisation, and these explorers must have wondered what race of people had required such a ridiculously large time-piece.

    (I believe the sun-dial was used to determine what time the Criterion Hotel would open.)

    • literatechicken August 9, 2011 at 6:42 pm #

      I’d forgotten about that sign – it’s hilarious! Ah, Singleton, you mysterious town, you. Classic.

  2. Whingingpommymummy August 8, 2011 at 11:46 pm #

    V funny. Just wonder what you’d have to say about ‘No Place’ a village near our home town in the UK? it’s nOt far from anOther gem… A village outside Durham called Pity Me.

    • literatechicken August 9, 2011 at 7:06 pm #

      Jesus, who names your villages? That is just so odd. I feel VERY sorry for the tourism councils of those areas – they don’t really have much to work with, do they?

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